Did a bit of retail therapy today. Talked it out with my best friends. Ate some delicious food. And got myself the cutest pair of shoes.
I feel better today. And I’m excited for this upcoming school year.
I know there are many new opportunities ahead and it’s time to see what else life has to offer me in my last year as a college student. Time to really put myself out there again. It’s time.
Tonight I did it.
I decided to be vulnerable and just tell him blankly that I miss him.
I was completely honest and straight-forward. I decided to let him know that I’ve never felt this way about anyone. And let him know the connection I feel has been more natural and easy than anything I’ve ever experienced.
Maybe I was too forward and too vulnerable. But I want to know how he feels. I need to know I wasn’t just another girl to him. I need to know that he feels that connection too.
What do we do if we feel the same way? I have no freaking idea. Maybe it’s stupid bc regardless of what we feel we both know it’s impractical to pursue if we live 3 hours away from one another.
Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut.. I don’t know. But my dad being in the hospital has got me thinking about how life is so damn short… Thinking about how rare this connection is for me..
I feel like I need to act on it.
So regardless of what comes of this declaration of feelings, I have decided I will have no regrets. At least I’m opening myself up to potential love. At least I’m asking for what I want. At least I’m putting myself out there.
If you feel something this real, you’re not supposed to just let it go right?
Why deny yourself something that you want?
"And if you are awake at 4AM, you are either in love or lonely, and I don’t know which one is worse."
I don’t want to let what we had go.
I like you too damn much.
It felt like you were my boyfriend for a week.
I miss holding your hand.
I miss running my hands through your hair.
I miss kissing you and cuddling.
I miss hearing you breathe and feeling your touch.
I feel so fucking lame bc I am not the type of girl to fall so easily.
But with you I did.
And damn I am scared of seeing you move on.
I am not ready to let you get away.
I just want to sleep in your arms.
I just want to live where you are.
I just want to travel with you everywhere.
Dammit I really screwed myself